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December 11, 2005
Weekly Status Dec 4-10
I'm finding the anxiety/avoidance scale I'm using to be unhelpful. I don't always keep track of it at night now, and I think in part it is because it is difficult to categorize a whole day by the two numbers. Maybe I'm being lazy? I don't think so, as I feel I am really trying hard to help my anxiety. I will still keep track of how I felt during the week, what went wrong and right.
I may still keep the numbers. It's odd how writing things out can cause one to think differently.
I'm also trying to not make this a competition with myself. The numbers just make me happy or sad, depending on how the day went. I need to learn to be ok with how things went. I'm taking the numbers as a sign of weakness, of something bad that I need to improve. Is that the right way to make things better? I'm feeling frustrated with myself, want to go in ten thousand directions at once. I want to know how to get better and how to live a better life and to feel good about myself. I need to go one step at a time, and I keep jumping and then tripping over my feet and then getting frustrated at the situation.
I was going to write some more here and some other entries tonight, but I think it is better for me to get some rest.
Posted by successfullyshy at December 11, 2005 9:56 PM